BORN TO BE A LOVER BOY, FORCED TO WALK AWAY!!

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POETRY!!
Image: GoodTherapy

By NJ
 
I was born to be a lover boy but I was forced to walk away  
Because there were better things to do than convincing somebody to stay, the person that you knew  
So even when I thought about it, even if I cared, I didn't let it show, because your lack of effort was incredibly unfair  
And I say that because it was oscillating somewhere between friends and more  
Just enough effort that kept me wanting but not as genuine of an effort as before  

So then I stood at a crossroads between what I wanted and what I needed  
I wanted you to be on the same road but I wasn't sure where that would have led because I think I would have been too good at it  
That's the worst part of all, to have a genuine heart and have to convince it not to fall  
And then I always forget anyway that there won't be a safety mat on the ground  
So as I was doing cartwheels in the air I tried to scream but there was no sound because eventually the effort dissipated  

Was lost in time excuses, I said I needed to be written about, you said you had never been too fond of muses  
So I stopped trying to inspire and I just started to shake  
Tried to leave my anxiety at an airport baggage claim, it still found me on a first date because I was afraid of it, genuinely of who I could be, because I was born to be a lover boy but she was never taught to grow up as me  

So what if I ruined everything, what if romance was better in my head  
What if I was better off alone, being just the writer instead, because I could write about a smile, her smile should have been named the star  
But what if to her I was just another boy that she nonsensically brought to her favorite spot  
I think that was the worst part about it, realizing maybe it was all just a game  
She said it didn't mean anything, I don't think I'll ever be the same  

To me she was holidays, weeks full of rest, but to her I was the feelings that made her a little too stressed  
She was new beginnings, all the reasons to stay  
The worst is that you'll never even consider how many times you actually hurt me, before I finally accepted I had to walk away

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